Sunday, January 16, 2011

Naugh- "T"

This past weekend with Gentleman Jack was the first in 3 weeks. It had been at least 3 months since we'd spent any time alone. Every time we were together during the holidays, we had all 4 of our children.

Momma was jonesing for sex.


I didn't even realize it. I'm not generally the horn-dog I once was. I'm very satisfied with the lovin' I get from my man. This time though... sheesh! I was already "ready" before I even went to work on Friday morning. A quick visit out to one of my fave porn sites helped to ease the tension a bit.

I sent him naughty texts during the day. Then, as I drove through traffic to get out of town, I was subjected to even more sexual innuendo thanks to a few Sonic billboards:

Billboard reads: "Longer, Plumper"

Yet another Sonic billboard was advertising their hamburgers and used the slogan, "Thicker, Juicier".

I was practically drooling and already moist within the first hour of the drive!

Thank goodness they already took down the QT billboards that used to be on my drive:


As I got closer to my Gentleman's house, I ran into a traffic jam. I was so frustrated! I was calling everyone a "cockblocker"! I couldn't even ride the asses of the slow cars in the fast lane without my mind conjuring up some sort of "ass-riding" fantasy.

I know I was driving too fast on the freeway. I was already imagining being pulled over and me explaining, "I'm sorry, Officer. I am really horny and can't wait a minute more to put my man in my mouth." I giggled thinking that the cop would more than likely offer me an escort for the rest of the drive.

You'd think I hadn't had sex in years!


Once I could actually get my hands on my man, I couldn't stand it anymore.

....


Later, in the shower, I explained to him, "Baby, sometimes a girl wants her man to make love to her as if she's still a virgin. And sometimes.... a girl just wants to be fucked like a porn star."

Thankfully, he's really good at reading my moods.

17 comments:

  1. "Baby, sometimes a girl wants her man to make love to her as if she's still a virgin. And sometimes.... a girl just wants to be fucked like a porn star." AMEH SISTER. Hehehe. ;)

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  2. LOL...ya, I'm a lot less of the "virgin" variety and a whole lot more of "porn star" variety.

    Mr. BLT makes me insatiable... daily... it's been nearly nine months since he moved in and we still have sex once or twice every day.

    I couldn't go three weeks... I would be a masterbating fool. "Hey mom, ya it's me... can't come to work today. I'm too horny and I'll be watching porn and masterbating all day okay!. See you tomorrow!" lmao!! That would go over SO well.

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  3. I spent some time with Jack this weekend and it had been a couple weeks since we'd hung out. Of course, I'm talking about Jack Daniels and that is a totally different story than yours...

    P.S. God bless you, Jenni and Little Ol Me for being such horny women. There is a special place in heaven for you all!!!!!

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  4. What I think is important is that yo are embracing that side of you. You acknowledge it and admit that it's ok to feel that way. It is healthy and normal. And Thank God for a man who can read our moods and give us what we want, or allow us to take what we want from them.

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  5. T...I love reading a post like this because there aren't enough REAL sexual thoughts out there by REAL bloggers that aren't promoting their NSFW website.

    "Cockblocker"...lol.

    And for the record, I would ABSOLUTELY LOVE to be the police officer that pulls you over just so I could hear you give that excuse for speeding.

    Too funny.

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  6. I concur with CBG. (to the first part!)

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  7. Ditto what they said....:*) We all feel this way (well, frankly, I hope you all do, because if not, you're missing out)....would be nice if we said it more often!

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  8. Awesome story and very well written. It made me want to be the guy that you are driving to.

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  9. T - love your blog, you are one of the inspirations for my blog and for me to call it like I see it.
    I love this post - post divorce dating, imho, is much better than pre-marriage dating. The wisdom that comes from living through our experiences certainly enhances all facets of our lives! ;}

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  10. Lol, LOVE this! And I get it. Geez, it's been awhile...

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  11. Love this playful side of you.

    I would say those billboards would make me horney too.

    Glad to hear you got your sex on.
    and I agree sometimes a women just wants to be fucked like a porn star.

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  12. It's touching to read a story with such a happy ending!

    This is hilarious. I LOLed my way through the whole thing.

    I don't think the cop would have given you an escort. He probably would have thought HE was in a porn movie, and offered to take care of you right there. Bow-chick-a-wow-wow.

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  13. I completely get this. We live together, but still there are some nights that I can't wait to get home and have him alone. Yum.

    And you're going to have to share that little site you so enjoyed. You've got my email. ;)

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  14. Oh how I love reunion sex! It's one of those things that makes a long distance relationship feel worth it (at least in the moment that the reunion sex is happening.

    heh.

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  15. And yet another reason in the very long list of reasons I love you so much!
    Amen to this!!!!!!

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