I love keeping up with old friends. Facebook is how I connected with my Gentleman. It's also caused arguments and frustrations. I've noticed, unfortunately, that it makes me depressed sometimes too.
Because of Facebook, I get to see what my friends are up to. And I get to compare their lives to mine.
I get to see the many different versions of how my life could be.
First, there are those two friends that are living the rock star life I was supposed to be living.
One is a high school friend whose band played at my sweet 16 birthday party. Then, senior year, I sang for my own band and we competed against each other. He is in a well-known rock band now, living the rock star life, traveling the world and meeting famous people.
Then there's my other friend, the one who managed the first band I sang for, here in Dallas. She's continued managing bands and now has her own Indie record label.
That should be me.
Even if my rock star dreams didn't come true, there is still the perfect married family that I could have had.
She is a successful business woman, married to a handsome man who provides for and adores her. They have two children, are active together, eat organically, live earth friendly, spend good quality family time together and are smiling and in love throughout it all. To hit even closer to home, she lives on the same street as the dream house my husband and I shared when we were married.
It seems that she is living the life I should be living...
So, my marriage didn't work out and now I find myself in a loving, long distance relationship with a high school classmate. He's my best friend. We want to be together however, we both have children and exes who live in our respective towns. We both share custody of our children.
And yes, even THAT has been resolved for another couple I know on Facebook. Two of our high school classmates have found each other and reconnected across the miles. Two single parents. She moved back to Louisiana and they were married over the weekend. Their kids stood with them as they said their vows. He declared that she was the "woman of his dreams" and she declared that she's "linked forever. incredibly happy. totally in love."
"When you stop comparing what is right here and now with what you wish were, you can begin to enjoy what is."
~ Cheri Huber
I realize that comparing myself, my body, my financial status, my life, my ANYTHING to others is the worst thing I can do. I do know this. Still I can't help but sigh deeply when I observe these people, from my computer screen, and wonder why it isn't me.
However... what I see on Facebook is MY perception. Is it the truth?
My friend, the rock star? On the outside, he lives an awesome life. I also know a few things that aren't so awesome. But... it's part of the lifestyle.
The perfect married couple? I lived in that neighborhood. I know that what's on the outside is what matters most. I also know some of the ugliness behind the beautiful giant doors and gorgeous facades. Perhaps I don't know their whole story.
Who knows what my high school girlfriend went through to move herself and her children back to Louisiana? Maybe she's never had support from her ex? Maybe this is a brand new start for her.
I don't wish bad on any of these people, I just have to remind myself that we all have battles. We all have different stages of life. We all have versions we thought we'd be living.
If I were the rock star, I'd never have met my husband and started a family. I wouldn't have my baby girls who make me smile so big and learn so much.
If I had the perfect family in my dream house, I wouldn't be in this amazing relationship with the kindest gentleman who loves me like I've never been loved before. I may have never felt the strength that's developed in my life as a single mom.
I don't know what's next with me, with my life... I can't keep looking back and asking, "Why?" or "What if?" My mind can't look beyond what happened in the past and is even judging the present based on the past!
It is up to me to create my own happiness by accepting what is in this very moment. If I can accept the now, let go of the past, and allow the future to unfold, I could create something greater than I ever imagined.
It is up to me, to borrow my friend Morgan's phrase, to enjoy "happily ever NOW".
But sometimes, I think Facebook should go eff off.
"If you are suffering in your life right now, I guarantee that this condition is tied up with some kind of attachment to how you think things SHOULD be going."
~ Wayne Dyer