But with good reason.
I beat my previous course time in yesterday's triathlon!
I only beat it by 1 minute but I'm so proud of myself!
I went into this triathlon in the same spirit as the last one. I KNOW I can do it. The fear is gone mostly. The calm assurance, having my mom, my man, my kids, my friends and other triathlete friends around me helped keep that confidence too. I simply had fun with it instead of feeling anxious about it. I think fear wastes too much energy. I didn't know that before but I know it now.
Let's back up a bit though, shall we?
I have to make mention again of the wonderful support team I had around me.
My mom drove into town with me and my daughters. She helped me throughout the weekend with my children and on the morning of the triathlon. Having her near me soothes me... and it was so great to see her proud tears as I crossed the finish line. (And I think she enjoys the eye candy too!)
My fellow triathlete friends, whether they did the tri or not, were very supportive and uplifting as well. It was nice to be at a triathlon and know people there! It felt much more comfortable and I imagine will continue to feel more comfortable with every new triathlete I friend or train with.
Then there's my man.
He made sure the entire weekend was about ME. No matter how chaotic it was that we had a house full of kids. No matter how worried I became when my elbow began bothering me on Saturday, making me concerned about the 1/2 mile swim ahead of me. No matter how many times my daughters wanted to hang all over me, right as I was about to begin the race.
He ran my shower for me when I showed up at his house Friday night, tired and overheated from the drive. He wrapped me up in my robe, laid out comfortable clothes for me, unloaded my suitcase. He took care that my mother and daughters were happy and comfortable in his home. He handled all four kids (mine + his) on his own Sunday morning as Mom and I went out early to set up for the race.... and ALL during the race. He was constant support, consistent inspiration, calm, steady strength all weekend.
He stood by me, proud.
I may not have been the best athlete on that course yesterday but I finished it with an amazing group of people cheering me on.
I finished it... when so many others didn't because of the excessive heat or because of dehydration or panic. I was very proud of myself for listening to my body, nurturing it and being allowed to focus only on the task at hand... and each moment as it came. Running the mile I was in.
I finished it with gusto. Not hiding in the back of the pack but jumping right in the middle of everything... and even remaining steady and calm when not 1 but 5 different swimmers swam over the top of me!
|That's me swimming in the middle. NOT scared!|
I may not have been the best athlete and won any medals but I enjoyed myself. I felt supported and loved. I felt healthy, fit and strong.
|My littlest daughter joining me for part of the run.|
I may not have won any medals but my Gentleman told me... that I have first place in his heart.
I'm not sure I could ask for a better prize than that. I'm a lucky girl.