Well, okay, not really. I just have so many words going through my head that I've got a bit of analysis paralysis happenin'.
Like, for instance, I started this blog post... oh I don't know... an hour ago... and since then I've been interrupted 4 times and sidetracked into other things in there as well. Then I came back to this and was like, "Um... what was I going to write about?"
But we've already discussed how busy I am, haven't we?
Oh and remember when I wrote about how our primary relationship should be with our True Self... and then I wondered how I could stop trying to "heal" (read: fix) those around me through sharing my own experience? A few days later, this quote tied both of those posts together nicely.
"When you are in alignment with who-you-really-are, you cannot help but uplift those with whom you come into contact. Your value to those around you hinges upon only one thing: your personal alignment with Source. And the only thing you have to give to another is an example of that alignment — which they may observe, then desire, and then work to achieve — but you cannot give it to them."
Now if I could only remember that...
I also read another quote that said something like, "We teach others how to treat us by how we treat ourselves."
Then I thought about how I feel like everybody expects me to take care of everything, put out fires, make sure things run smoothly, pick up where others drop off...
And I realized I am doing this to myself.
I'm the one who puts all of the pressure on myself to have my shit together, be the planner, the cheerleader, the firefighter, the perfectionist, the
Well, I'm burnt out. I'm busy and BURNT. Momma needs a friggin' break. I want to lean back and have someone do for me but I'm so damn scared that if I do, things will remain undone, chaos will ensue and I'll have to pick things up AGAIN.
Still, I do this to myself. This tendency is lifelong and I realize it may take just as long to let it go but I want to. I really want to be gentle and loving to myself. I really want to teach others that I need them. I need help too. I want to do that without being needy. Is there a way?
I have a deep core belief that I must work to change:
"I'm convinced that I must do everything myself and yet... I'm also convinced that I will fail on my own."
Momma's burnt out and doomed beliefs like the one above aren't helping anything. Something has to change. It starts with aligning myself with the True Me. The quest continues...
**After I typed out this blog post, my computer blue screened and I lost half of it. Grrr...**