Friday, April 13, 2012

Goosfraba: Anger, part 3

Have any of you seen the movie, Anger Management? There's one particular scene when the therapist (played well by Jack Nicholson) offers his angry clients a word to use to diffuse their anger.

Here's the quick scene:

"You gotta dunk that shit!!"
LOL! Cracks me up every time...

The word he offers for them to use is "Goosfraba". He says it's a word that Eskimo mothers use to calm their children. Whether that's really a word or not, I love the idea and I love this movie.

I'd actually written about this movie in another post from 2 years ago, almost to the day.  Gentleman Jack had pointed out something to me after an argument in which I felt terrible for losing my temper:
"I think things make you angry all the time and you just take it. You take it until you're exhausted because you think everyone expects you to be Buddha. Then you get mad and you direct all of that anger towards yourself. Well, it's OK to be angry. It's OK to stand up for yourself. It's OK to say 'this isn't right.' Why beat yourself up for feeling what you feel?"

Right?! Isn't that what I'm asking myself now?

I often feel guilty for getting angry but dammit, it is just what I feel. GJ, when he's angry, feels it, expresses himself and then he's over it. I'm so afraid of expressing myself and letting others express themselves too. I'm so afraid of coming off as disappointing, ungrateful or mean that I hold it all inside or process it in some way that I can see both sides and try to rise above it like some spiritual non-human...

I'm aware. I'm letting it out all over the place now. Heh. Ok not really because I recognize that's probably not very productive at all... but it feels so freeing to allow myself to FEEL it and (do my damnedest to) be okay with it. 

The way I see it, if I can get rid of all of the infection from the festering wounds from my past, perhaps it will create a clearer vision of the present. Maybe I can actually learn to trust myself and my feelings about things instead of trying to "spiritualize" it away so that I don't get upset or upset anyone else.

I no longer want to internalize my anger... nor do I want to explode. But I think I do have to feel it, know when it's there, be aware of it and be okay with it before I can learn to control it, trust it and not allow it to build into something painful for me or anyone else.

Why am I so afraid to feel something so human? I may as well have some fun with it while I'm being so raw, shouldn't I?


It's also been very enlightening to think about how I allow my children to handle their anger. I don't want to stifle their feelings. I want to teach them to trust their feelings too. Maybe there's something I can use to help....

Hey, how about....


Have a great weekend my friends!

This is part 3 in a series exploring the emotion of Anger. Here's part 1, part 2, part 4 and part 5.

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